This is my Beloved Son, Hear Him! (Joseph Smith History—1:17).

In the quiet grove of trees, young Joseph had no trouble hearing the message Jesus Christ had for him. Joseph related his experience to others. Some believed him, others didn’t. And those who didn’t persecuted and ridiculed him. But he would not recant. As Joseph Smith said,

I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it (Joseph Smith—History 1:25).

This was the beginning of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. One of the great messages of this Restoration is that we, too, can hear Him. God will and does speak to us today, if we will listen. We can learn a lot from the simple, humble prayer of a young 14-year-old boy. Lessons that will help us to hear Him in the loud chaos of today. Let me explain.

A Young Boy’s Prayer

Before I can go forward, I need to go back. Way back, to the days when the Savior walked the earth. Jesus Christ established His Church during His mortal ministry, with apostles and baptism by immersion for the remission of sins. Christ used the power and authority of the priesthood in organizing His church, and He ordained men, including His Twelve Apostles, giving them the power and authority to continue His work. But, as President Russell M. Nelson explained,

After Christ and His Apostles passed away, men changed the ordinances and doctrine. The original Church and the priesthood were lost. 

Throughout the next nearly two millennia, followers of Jesus Christ worshipped Him to the best of their ability but did not have the fulness of His gospel. There was much confusion over His doctrines. The ancient Apostles prophesied of this Apostasy (which just means the time period in which the fulness of the gospel wasn’t on the earth) but also promised that the gospel would be restored. Elder Robert D. Hales taught,

Over the centuries, the world prepared for that restoration. The Bible was translated and published. A new land was discovered. The spirit of reformation swept through the Christian world, and a nation was founded on the principles of freedom. 

 

Joseph Smith was born in that nation and, at the age of 14, found himself caught in a ‘tumult of religious opinions.’ 

During the religious excitement of the day, there were many churches teaching different doctrines. Joseph wondered which church was right? And how would he know? Then he read one day in James 1:5,

If any of ye lack wisdom, let him as of God.

He needed wisdom, so he decided to go to a grove of trees and pray, asking God which church he should join.

God’s Answer—The First Vision

As young Joseph knelt in the peaceful, quiet grove of trees, he began to pray. Joseph said,

I … began to offer up the desire of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction. 

 

But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy … and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair … just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. 

 

… When the light rested upon me I saw two personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other–This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! (Joseph Smith—History 1:15-17)

Heavenly Father answered Joseph’s humble prayer. Elder Hales taught,

God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, conversed with Joseph. They answered his question. They taught him that the true Church of Christ had been lost from the earth. Joseph learned that these members of the Godhead were separate and distinct beings, They knew him by name, and They were willing to answer his prayers. The heavens were opened, the night of apostasy was over, and the light of the gospel began to shine forth.

Lessons from the First Vision

The First Vision taught us that God knows each of us, by name. That He loves us. That He is real and that He does still speak today. Elder L. Tom Perry explained,

This vision revealed unto us that God our Father and Jesus Christ, His Beloved Son, are two separate personages. Each has a body of flesh and bones that is glorified and perfected, thus clearing up the misconception that had been in existence for many centuries concerning the concept of God.

But we also learned of the reality of Satan. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught,

When we rehearse the grandeur of Joseph Smith’s First Vision, we sometimes gloss over the menacing confrontation that came just prior to it, a confrontation intended to destroy the boy if possible but in any case block the revelation that was to come. We don’t talk about the adversary any more than we have to, … but the experience of young Joseph reminds us what every [person] needs to remember. 

 

Number one, Satan, or Lucifer, or the father of lies—call him what you will—is real, the very personification of evil. His motives are in every case malicious, and he convulses at the appearing of redeeming light, at the very thought of it. Number two, he is eternally opposed to the love of God, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the work of peace and salvation. He will fight against these whenever and wherever he can. He knows he will be defeated and cast out in the end, but he is determined to take down with him as many as he possibly can.

So while we can—and need to—reach out to God and seek answers, we also must remember that Satan will try to thwart us in this process. And we can’t let him.

The Words of Christ

The goal for each of us is to receive our own personal revelation. Elder Hales explained,

Personal revelation is the way we know for ourselves the most important truths of our existence: the living reality of God, our eternal Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ; the truthfulness of the restored gospel; and God’s purpose and direction for us.

Before we can learn to hear Him, we need to know where to find the Savior so we can learn of Him. Young Joseph didn’t just go to a grove of trees to pray, first he studied the words of the Bible. He listened to different preachers teach. He pondered the words they were saying. Searching, pondering, praying. Those are the first steps to gaining personal revelation. Elder Hales taught,

The scriptures are the word of God given to us for our salvation. The scriptures are essential in receiving a testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel.

In addition to the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, Latter-day Saints have the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price in their scriptural canon as well as the words of modern prophets. Elder Quentin L. Cook said,

… All the standard works of the Church contain the mind and will of the Lord for us in this last dispensation.

 

In addition to these great foundational scriptures, we are blessed with continuing revelation to living prophets. Prophets are ‘commissioned agents of the Lord, authorized to speak for Him.’

 

Some revelations are of monumental importance, and others enhance our understanding of essential divine truths and provide guidance for our day.

As we study and ponder the words of Christ through His apostles, both ancient and modern, we prepare to receive our own personal revelation.

Obedience to the Commandments

The scriptures teach us that “the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3). As we learn of Him in our quest to hear Him, we must be obedient to His commandments if we want to receive personal revelation. President Henry B. Eyring taught,

It will take unshakable faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to choose the way to eternal life. It is by using that faith we can know the will of God. It is by acting on that faith we build the strength to do the will of God. And it is by exercising that faith in Jesus Christ that we can resist temptation and gain forgiveness through the Atonement.

As President Dallin H. Oaks, said,

Knowledge encourages obedience, and obedience enhances knowledge.

Obedience to God’s commandments helps us to prepare to hear Him. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained,

Obedience is the lifeblood of faith. It is by obedience that we gather light into our souls.

President Joseph F. Smith said,

Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Light, who is no respecter of persons, and in whom there is no variableness, nor shadow of turning. To please him we must not only worship him with thanksgiving and praise but render willing obedience to his commandments. By so doing, he is bound to bestow his blessings; for it is on this principle (obedience to law) that all blessings are predicated (Improvement Era, Dec. 1917, p. 104).

Hearing Him—and Learning to Listen

One of the greatest messages of Joseph Smith’s First Vision is that God does hear and answer our prayers. His example of studying, pondering, praying and obedience to God’s commandments is the pattern that we also must follow if we are to receive personal revelation. But we also have to learn to listen. President Eyring said,

There may be many reasons God could speak so powerfully to young Joseph, but a primary reason was that his heart was ready. 

 

Joseph … wanted forgiveness of his sins and weaknesses, which he knew could only come through Jesus Christ. And he was desperate to know which of the contending churches was right and which he should join.

 

Joseph had been prepared with faith that Jesus is the Christ, his Savior. With that faith and a humble heart, he was ready. … He was prepared, as we can be, to claim the promise of James.

As we seek to hear God’s voice, we must learn to discern it. President Nelson taught,

The adversary is clever. For millennia, he has been making good look evil and evil look good. His messages tend to be loud, bold and boastful.

 

However, messages from our Heavenly Father are strikingly different. He communicated simply, quietly, and with such stunning plainness that we cannot misunderstand Him.

Hearing Him is more than just listening. President Nelson continued,

The very first word in the Doctrine and Covenants is hearken. It means to ‘listen with the intent to obey.’ To hearken means to ‘hear Him’—to hear what the Savior says and then to heed His counsel. In those two words—’Hear Him’—God gives us the pattern for success, happiness, and joy in this life. We are to hear the words of the Lord, hearken to them, and heed what He has told us!

Remembering Him

After we have heard Him and heeded His words, we feel the power of His love. But then we have to return to reality. And sometimes that reality includes quarantines and schooling at home and economic worries. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said,

The fact of the matter is that none of us want tomorrow, or the day after that, to destroy the wonderful feelings we have had…. We want to hold fast to the spiritual impressions we have had and the inspired teachings we have heard. But it is inevitable that after heavenly moments in our lives, we, of necessity, return to earth, so to speak, where sometimes less-than-ideal circumstances again face us.

But the Lord has not forgotten us. Elder Neil L. Andersen taught,

Along with the peaceful direction we receive from the Holy Ghost, from time to time, God powerfully and very personally assures each of us that He knows us and loves us and that He is blessing us specifically and openly. Then, in our moments of difficulty, the Savior brings these experiences back into our mind.

In the loud, chaotic and coronavirus-filled world that we live in, we must stop and listen to the voice of the Savior. As President Nelson said,

Our Father knows that when we are surrounded by uncertainty and fear, what will help us the very most is to hear His Son.

Because when we seek to hear—truly hear—His Son, we will be guided to know what to do in any circumstance.

Tithing is also a principle of faith. Elder Robert D. Hales taught,

Tithing has been established in these latter days as an essential law for members of the Lord’s restored Church. It is one of the basic ways we witness our faith in Him and our obedience to His laws and commandments.

Latter-day Saints pay tithing as a sign of their faith in God. Most of us, at one point or another, feel like the widow paying her last mite in tithing. But perhaps that is the point. Elder Bruce R. McConkie said,

When it costs us but little to give, the treasure laid up in heaven is a small one. The widow’s mite, given in sacrifice, weighs more heavily in the eternal scales than the bulging granaries of the rich man.

In paying our tithing—especially in lean times—we strengthen our faith through our sacrifice. Careful management of tithing funds is evidence that the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ understand this. Let me explain.

The Law of Tithing

First, what is tithing? A tithe is one-tenth of a person’s annual increase, or income. But it’s not a modern construct. In ancient times and the early days of the Church of Jesus Christ, tithing was not always paid in cash. It was often paid commodities. The scriptures teach,

And as soon as the commandment came abroad, the children of Israel brought in abundance the firstfruits of corn, wine, and oil, and honey, and of all the increase of the field; and the tithe of all things brought they in abundantly (2 Chronicles 31:5).

The Lord revealed the law of tithing and the purpose thereof for the modern Church of Jesus Christ in 1838. Modern scriptures teach,

Verily, thus saith the Lord, I require all their surplus property to be put into the hands of the bishop of my church in Zion,

 

For the building of mine house, and for the laying of the foundation of Zion and for the priesthood, and for the debts of the Presidency of my Church.

And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people.

 

And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord (Doctrine & Covenants 119:1-4).

The Lord feels very strongly about this law. The ancient prophet Malachi wrote,

Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

 

Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation (Malachi 3:8-9).

The Collection of Tithes

Every faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has an increase in income pays tithing. This includes the leadership. Latter-day Saints pay tithing to the bishop, or lay leader of the ward (which is the local congregation). While members can now pay their tithing online through the Church’s website, funds are still sent directly to the ward. Ward clerks help to count the funds brought in. Elder Hales explained,

According to revelation, bishops are ordained to “keep the Lord’s storehouse; to receive the funds of the church.” (See Doctrine & Covenants 72:10.) Both bishops and clerks are expected to be full-tithe payers who have learned to live prudently within their means. Within hours of receiving tithing funds from members of their wards and branches, these local leaders transmit the funds directly to the headquarters of the Church.

Once at Church headquarters, the use of funds is directed based on sound financial principles. Elder David A. Bednar taught,

In the financial operations of the Church, two basic and fixed principles are observed. First, the Church lives within its means and does not spend more than it receives. Second, a portion of the annual income is set aside as a reserve for contingencies and unanticipated needs. For decades the Church has taught its membership the principle of setting aside additional food, fuel, and money to take care of emergencies that might arise. The Church as an institution simply follows the same principles that are taught repeatedly to the members.

The Use of Tithing Funds

Meetinghouses, such as this one in Guatemala, are built and maintained using tithing funds.

Tithing funds are used to establish and maintain the kingdom of God on the earth. So what does that look like? President Gordon B. Hinckley said,

There has been laid upon the Church a tremendous responsibility. Tithing is the source of income for the Church to carry forward its mandated activities.

And the use of tithing funds is directed by the Lord. President Dallin H. Oaks explained,

The Lord has directed by revelation that the expenditure of his tithes will be directed by his servants, the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, and the Presiding Bishopric (see Doctrine & Covenants 120). Those funds are spent to build and maintain temples and houses of worship, to conduct our worldwide missionary work, to translate and publish scriptures, to provide resources to redeem the dead, to fund religious education, and to support other Church purposes selected by the designated servants of the Lord.

Although the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ are in Salt Lake City, the Church operates throughout the world. The scriptures are translated and published into 97 languages in their entirety and portions have been translated into another 20, there are meetinghouses and temples benefitting members in 160 countries, and tithing funds are the source of funding. Each meetinghouse and temple must be heated or cooled and properly maintained. Sometimes they need repairs. All of this comes out of tithing funds. The Church of Jesus Christ no longer goes into debt to build these structures. Rather, everything is paid for in cash.

The Promises of Tithing

We can’t talk about the principles of tithing without discussing the associated promises. The ancient prophet Malachi taught,

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

 

And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts (Malachi 3: 10-11).

Speaking of paying tithing, President Hinckley said,

I am satisfied that he will bless all who walk in obedience to this commandment.

 

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not here to say that if you pay an honest tithing you will realize your dream of a fine house, a Rolls Royce, and a condominium in Hawaii. The Lord will open the windows of heaven according to our need, and not according to our greed. If we are paying tithing to get rich, we are doing it for the wrong reason. … The blessing to the giver is an ancillary return, and that blessing may not be always in the form of financial or material benefit.

Tithing is, indeed, a measure of faith. President Hinckley taught,

While tithing is paid with money, more importantly it is paid with faith. I have never met an individual who paid an honest tithe who complained about it. Rather, he put his trust in the Lord, and the Lord never failed him.

The Blessings of Tithing

The blessings of tithing are not limited to financial aspects of our lives. As President Hinckley said, if we are paying our tithing hoping to get rich, then we’re doing it for the wrong reason. And if we’re paying tithing for the wrong reasons and looking for blessings that aren’t there, then we will probably miss the blessings that are there. President Hinckley said, 

There are many ways in which the Lord can bless us beyond the riches of the world. There is the great boon of health. The Lord has promised that he will rebuke the devourer for our sakes. Malachi speaks of the fruits of our ground. May not that rebuke of the devourer apply to various of our personal efforts and concerns?

 

There is the great blessing of wisdom, of knowledge, even hidden treasures of knowledge. We are promised that ours shall be a delightsome land if we will walk in obedience to this law. I can interpret the word land as people, that those who walk in obedience shall be a delightsome people. What a marvelous condition to be a delightsome people whom others would describe as blessed!

But these are not all. Elder Neil L. Andersen explained,

… Some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

 

The imagery of the “windows” of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.

We can see the blessings of tithing as we look for them.

Tithing vs. Food

Some people feel that you have to have enough money to pay your tithing. My husband and I have always felt that we can’t afford to not pay tithing. When our first son was born, I quit working to stay home. That pretty much cut our income in half. And I was worried. But we always paid our tithing, and we have always had what we needed. We attribute that directly to blessings from paying tithing.

Even—and perhaps especially—in times of economic crisis, paying tithing is important. But some say The Church of Jesus Christ forces the poor to pay tithing rather than buying basic necessities such as food. But in this, they miss the whole point of tithing. Elder Lynn G. Robbins taught,

The Lord often teaches using extreme circumstances to illustrate a principle. The story of the widow of Zarephath is an example of extreme poverty used to teach the doctrine that mercy cannot rob sacrifice any more than it can rob justice. In fact, the truer measure of sacrifice isn’t so much what one gives to sacrifice as what one sacrifices to give (see Mark 12:43). Faith isn’t tested so much when the cupboard is full as when it is bare. In these defining moments, the crisis doesn’t create one’s character—it reveals it. The crisis is the test.

The Widow of Zarephath

In the scriptures, the prophet Elijah comes to a poor, starving widow and asks her to feed him during a famine. (See 1 Kings 17:13-16.) When she says that she has a little oil and meal for her and her son—and that they are preparing one last, small meal before they die of starvation—Elijah asks her to feed him first. Elder Robbins continued,

Elijah understood the doctrine that blessings come after the trial of our faith (see Ether 12:6). He wasn’t being selfish. As the Lord’s servant, Elijah was there to give, not to take.

The widow and her son survived the famine because they showed faith. The same is true of us. If, after paying tithing, we don’t have sufficient funds for food or housing, the Church welfare system will step in and help. It is a principle lived and sacrifice made and honored. And living this principle will bless us long after the crisis has passed.

Preparation for the Second Coming

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in yellow Helping Hands shirts clean up after a tornado in Tennessee.

Latter-day Saints believe that the world will continue to be in turmoil as the time draws near for the Second Coming of the Savior. And for many years, prophets and apostles have taught the importance of preparing for this by getting out of debt and stockpiling food and other supplies. What used to be called food storage is now called self reliance. It is a different name but similar concept. While many Church members are following these teachings, not all are. Many are in various stages of attaining their goals of getting out of debt and gathering what they need. And some will be caught unaware.

Some, no matter how hard they work to prepare, will fall on hard times. And the plagues, wars and rumors of wars will stretch thin many people across the globe. In coming days, it is entirely possible that the once seemingly ridiculously large $100 billion in savings will be stretched as The Church of Jesus Christ helps people around the world. Not just members of the Church, but anyone who is in need. 

Tithing and the Widow’s Mite

Despite the blessings that many faithful Latter-day Saints have received from paying tithing, some critics have wondered why The Church of Jesus Christ needs to keep billions of dollars in reserves. Wouldn’t it be better, they reason, to spend the money to help the homeless or feed the poor or some other charitable work? And maybe just keep a few million in reserves. Well, put frankly, no. This is short-sighted and fiscally irresponsible. Spending money just because it’s there does not honor the sacrifice of the widow’s mite, which is in reference to a widow paying all that she has in faith. And she has faith that those with stewardship over her contribution will respect her consecrated offering—which is consecrated, or made holy, by her sacrifice. The same is true of all tithing monies.

My grandmother was a widow for nearly 20 years who was very careful with her money. But she always paid her tithing. Not only was it important to her to pay her tithing, it was also important to her to declare herself a full tithe payer before the Lord. Latter-day Saints do this at the end of the year in personal or family tithing settlement meetings with the bishop. In 2019, she passed away in the early morning hours of the day she was supposed to attend tithing settlement. Knowing how important this meeting was to my grandmother, my mother went for my grandmother. President Hinckley said,

… Long observation has shown that the faithful and honest payment of tithing is an indicator of faithfulness in other matters.

This is the legacy of faith that comes from a lifetime of sacrifice. And the faith that will see us through the trials and challenges of life. The Church honors that faith with careful management of tithing funds.

As parents and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes mistakenly called Mormons or the Mormon Church), we’re focusing on the end goal of raising productive members of society who love God and strive to be disciples of Jesus Christ. My husband and I are striving to walk the covenant path and to teach our children the importance of doing the same. 

We are following the pattern that Heavenly Father has set for His children. President Russell M. Nelson said,

More than anything, our Father wants His children to choose to return home to Him. Everything He does is motivated by His yearning desire. The entire reason we are on this earth is to qualify to live with Him forever. We do that by using our agency to find and stay on the covenant path that leads back to our heavenly home. …

 

God’s laws reflect His perfect love for each of us. His laws keep us spiritually safe and help us to progress eternally.

When we understand how much God loves us and that His commandments are motivated by that love, we can gain a greater appreciation for them. Even the ones we might not fully understand. Let me explain.

Our Heavenly Father Loves Us

God is our Heavenly Father, and we are all His spirit children. And He loves us in a way that is incomprehensible. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.

 

God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

 

… We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

 

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.

How do we draw near to our Heavenly Father? We follow His commandments. 

Truth and Divine Laws

God’s commandments are divine laws based on universal truths. They are given to us for our protection and benefit. But the world today doesn’t necessarily see them the same way. Herein lies one of the greatest challenges that we face today.  President Nelson said,

Some things are simply true. The arbiter of truth is God—not your favorite social media news feed, not Google, and certainly not those who are disaffected from the Church.

 

President Spencer W. Kimball taught that absolute truth cannot be “altered by the opinions of men. . . . If men are really humble, they will realize that they discover, but do not create, truth.”

 

Many now claim that truth is relative and that there is no such thing as divine law or a divine plan. Such a claim is simply not true. There is a difference between right and wrong. Truth is based upon the laws God has established for the dependability, protection, and nurturing of His children. Eternal laws operate in and affect each of our lives, whether we believe them or not.

This is where it’s important to understand the love of God. Because He loves us, He gives us commandments so that we can become like Him. Just like our children don’t always understand how some of our rules keep them safe, we don’t always understand how God’s laws keep us safe. 

But I discovered an analogy recently with a newly installed stoplight.

The Parable of the Stoplights

I live in a small mountain town about two hours north of “the big city.” On the last stretch of highway out of the city heading home, I always breathe a small sigh of relief when I pass the last stoplight because there isn’t another one for two hours. It’s a windy road up the mountain and sometimes you get stuck behind slow cars and trucks with trailers. But you don’t have to worry about getting stopped at a light. Recently I took my oldest son down for a couple of doctors appointments, and to my dismay, I found two more stoplights had been installed on my once unhindered stretch of road. 

A few days later, my husband and I were talking to our son. My husband asked him, “Do you see stoplights as a blessing or a burden?” I’m not sure what my son’s answer was, because I was thinking about how unhappy I was with the newly installed lights. My husband said, “They are both a blessing and a burden. Just like commandments are. You can look at them as limiting your freedom and controlling you, or you can see them as a protection. If you run a red light, then you put yourself and others in danger. If you obey them, you are protected.” 

The same stoplights that prevented me from passing slower drivers on that stretch of highway out of town actually made the road safer for everyone. Because certain times of the day, drivers trying to turn left off the side street onto the highway had to battle heavy traffic. And more and more cars were using that road. So the stoplight added a layer of protection for all drivers. I hadn’t seen the need, but others with greater foresight did.

The Gift of Foresight

As parents, it’s our job to see around corners—especially when our children can’t. As our Father in Heaven, God also looks out for us in the same way. President Nelson said,

God knew that because of the adversary’s deceptive tactics and traps, the covenant path would not be easy to find or to stay on. So, He sent His Only Begotten Son to atone for us and to show us the way. The godly power available to all who love and follow Jesus Christ is the power to heal us, strengthen us, cleanse us from sin, and magnify us to do things we could never do on our own. Our Savior is the Divine Exemplar who marked the path that we are to follow.

 

Because the Father and the Son love us with infinite, perfect love, and because They know we cannot see everything They see, They have given us laws that will guide and protect us.

But with all of the chaos and confusion in the world, how do we know which voices are telling us the right path to take? President Nelson explained,

The gospel of Jesus Christ is “built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone.”

We can find the truth in the words of the prophets and apostles—both ancient and modern. 

The Role of a Prophet

The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is, from left, First Counselor Dallin H. Oaks, President Russell M. Nelson and Second Counselor Henry B. Eyring.

The role of a prophet is sacred. Elder Neil L. Andersen explained, 

The selection of a prophet is made by the Lord Himself. There is no campaigning, no debates, no posturing for position, no dissension, distrust, confusion, or commotion. …

 

Jesus also taught an important truth about the servants He sends to us. “He that receiveth you,” He said, “receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.”

 

The most important role of the Lord’s prophet is to teach us of the Savior and lead us to Him. 

President Nelson taught,

All leaders in the Lord’s Church are called by proper authority. No prophet or any other leader in this Church, for that matter, has ever called himself or herself. No prophet has ever been elected. The Lord made that clear when He said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you.”

The role of a prophet isn’t easy. President Nelson said,

Sometimes we as leaders of the Church are criticized for holding firm to the laws of God, defending the Savior’s doctrine, and resisting the social pressures of our day. But our commission as ordained Apostles is “to go into all the world to preach [His] gospel unto every creature.” That means we are commanded to teach truth.

 

In doing so, sometimes we are accused of being uncaring as we teach the Father’s requirements for exaltation in the celestial kingdom. But wouldn’t it be far more uncaring for us not to tell the truth—not to teach what God has revealed?

 

It is precisely because we do care deeply about all of God’s children that we proclaim His truth. We may not always tell people what they want to hear. Prophets are rarely popular. But we will always teach the truth!

The Burden of Discipleship

Many in the world today, as President Nelson noted, criticize the prophet and apostles as uncaring and unfeeling toward those who are struggling not only with the commandments but also with keeping them. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said,

… Here we have the burden of those called to bear the messianic message. In addition to teaching, encouraging, and cheering people on (that is the pleasant part of discipleship), from time to time these same messengers are called upon to worry, to warn, and sometimes just to weep (that is the painful part of discipleship). They know full well that the road leading to the promised land “flowing with milk and honey” of necessity runs by way of Mount Sinai, flowing with “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots.”

 

Unfortunately, messengers of divinely mandated commandments are often no more popular today than they were anciently….

But teaching truth does not mean that the prophets and apostles are unfeeling. President Nelson taught,

Whenever the sons and daughters of God weep—for whatever reasons—we weep. 

Those who lead The Church of Jesus Christ have the burden of reaching out in love to all of God’s children but also upholding and teaching the increasingly unpopular and unchanging laws of God.

God’s Standards for Families, Marriage and Chastity

The world is changing the definitions of marriage and family as well as opting against adherence to the law of chastity. Many are expecting The Church of Jesus Christ to change their expectations and standards based on these changing philosophies. But, as President Nelson explained,

… Our commission as Apostles is to teach nothing but truth. That commission does not give us the authority to modify divine law.

 

For example, let’s consider the definition of marriage. In recent years, many countries, including the United States, have legalized same-sex marriage. As members of the Church, we respect the laws of the land and abide by them, including civil marriage. The truth is, however, that in the beginning—in the beginning—marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage.

 

God has also not changed His law of chastity. Requirements to enter the temple have not changed. And our desire for there to be love at home and harmony between parent and child has not changed.

These shifts in attitudes and even in laws have required the prophet and apostles of the Church to prayerfully consider the best way to move forward in their mission. President Nelson said,

Though we of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles cannot change the laws of God, we do have the charge to “build up the church, and regulate all the affairs of the same in all nations.” Thus, we can adjust policy when the Lord directs us to do so.

And he offered some insight into the attention, effort and love that went into several recent policy decisions that, to some, seemed to alienate and marginalize a specific group of people.

Policy Regarding the LGBT Community

In 2015, The Church of Jesus Christ announced that children of parents who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender would not automatically be eligible for baptism at the age of 8. Children of LGBT parents who wanted to be baptized would need approval from the First Presidency (consisting of the prophet and his two counselors). This caused some uproar and hurt feelings. But that was not the intent. President Nelson explained,

Our concern then, and one we discussed at length and prayed about fervently over a long period of time, was to find a way to reduce friction between gay or lesbian parents and their children.

 

Because parents are the primary exemplars for their children, we did not want to put young children in the position of having to choose between beliefs and behavior they learned at home and what they were taught at church. We wanted to facilitate harmony in the home and avoid pitting children and parents against each other. 

The prophet and apostles continued to seek the Lord’s guidance in the matter. President Nelson said,

We knew that this policy created concern and confusion for some and heartache for others. That grieved us. 

There was also concern about creating discord in families with LGBT parents. But, President Nelson said,

We also took note of LGBT parents who sought permission from the First Presidency for their children to be baptized. In nearly every case where the LGBT parents agreed to teach their children about—and be supportive of—the covenant of baptism, the requested exception was granted.

Prayerful Policy Changes

The prophet and apostles continued to prayerfully seek the Lord’s will, which led to further policy changes announced in 2019. President Nelson continued, 

As a result of our continued supplication, we recently felt directed to adjust the policy such that the baptism of children of LGBT parents may be authorized by bishops without First Presidency approval, if the custodial parents request the baptism and understand that a child will be taught about sacred covenants to be made at baptism.

 

We also determined that LGBT parents may request that a baby be named and blessed by one who worthily holds the Melchizedek Priesthood. It is important that these parents understand that ward members will contact them periodically, and that when a child who has been blessed reaches eight years of age, local leaders will recommend that the child be baptized.

 

Finally, we also clarified that homosexual immorality would be treated in the eyes of the Church in the same manner as heterosexual immorality.

 

Though it may not have looked this way to some, the 2015 and 2019 policy adjustments on this matter were both motivated by love—the love of our Heavenly Father for His children and the love of the Brethren for those whom we serve.

 

Because we feel the depth of God’s love for His children, we care deeply about every child of God, regardless of age, personal circumstances, gender, sexual orientation, or other unique challenges.

The Love of God

In all that the apostles and prophets do, love for God’s children and obedience to Christ’s law are at the forefront. President Thomas S. Monson taught,

… Love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved. At the end the angry mob took His life. And yet there rings from Golgotha’s hill the words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”—a crowning expression in mortality of compassion and love.

But, love and law are intrinsically linked. Elder Holland explained,

At the zenith of His mortal ministry, Jesus said, “Love one another, as I have loved you.” To make certain they understood exactly what kind of love that was, He said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” and “whosoever … shall break one of [the] least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be … the least in the kingdom of heaven.”

 

Christlike love is the greatest need we have on this planet in part because righteousness was always supposed to accompany it. So if love is to be our watchword, as it must be, then by the word of Him who is love personified, we must forsake transgression and any hint of advocacy for it in others. Jesus clearly understood what many in our modern culture seem to forget: that there is a crucial difference between the commandment to forgive sin (which He had an infinite capacity to do) and the warning against condoning it (which He never ever did even once).

Thus, the ultimate expression of God’s love for us is that He gives us commandments to follow so that, through our obedience to them, we can return to Him.

This makes sense to me. I remember feeling the Spirit at girls camp when I was a teenager. It was a time to get away from the distractions of life and the neighborhood pool and find the peace and tranquility in nature. Camp is still that way for my girls. We can disconnect from the world and reconnect with God while we’re out enjoying His beautiful creations. We come home changed, rejuvenated and ready to be better people. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said,

I am grateful for Young Women leaders who go to girls camp and, without shampoo, showers, or mascara, turn smoky, campfire testimony meetings into some of the most riveting spiritual experiences those girls—or those leaders—will experience in their lifetime.

That has been my experience with girls camp. Through the smoke, sweat, crafts and cold, friendships are forged and testimonies are strengthened. Not everyone can go to girls camp (especially as adults), but everyone can find ways to reconnect with God in our everyday lives. In fact, a loving Heavenly Father has given us many of them.

Why Disconnecting Matters

It’s so easy to be busy in the world today. After three concussions in two years, my son was still trying to be too busy. So we had to take him back to the doctors to help him understand the importance of disconnecting on a regular basis so that his brain could fully heal. But I realized that my son isn’t the only one who needs to learn how to disengage from the chaos of life. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. … They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

That is the danger with always being busy. We often equate business with productivity, and that’s not always true. President Thomas S. Monson explained,

We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes.

The key to prioritizing properly is to put God first. President Ezra Taft Benson said,

When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.

It’s easier to do this when we take ourselves to the great outdoors. But it’s still possible even at home.

Sabbath Day

The Sabbath day has been, from the beginning, a time to step back from the world and focus on things of the Spirit. God created the earth in sixth days, and then rested on the seventh as the Sabbath—and He commanded us to do the same. Professor Robert J. Matthews, at the time chairman of the Department of Ancient Scripture at Brigham Young University, explained,

The Sabbath has several purposes. It is a holy day specified in the scriptures as a day not only of rest but also of worship. The word sabbath is derived from the Hebrew shabbath, meaning “to break off” or “to desist,” and in this can be seen the idea of rest.

 

But in the best sense, rest does not mean idleness; it signifies rather a change of emphasis. In plain terms, “keeping the Sabbath day holy” means to cease or to rest from the secular labors of the week and to use the specified day in worshipping God and doing good to our fellow beings. It is a day for spiritual works and refreshment as compared to the secular accomplishments of other days.

Keeping the Sabbath day holy helps us to renew ourselves spiritually and focus our time and efforts on things that matter most. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught,

[Observing the Sabbath day] helps us remain unspotted from the world, provides us with physical rest, and gives each of us the spiritual refreshment of worshipping the Father and the Son every Sunday. When we delight in the Sabbath day, it is a sign of our love for Them.

The doctrine of resting applies in our everyday lives the rest of the week as well. While we only set aside Sunday as a full day of rest, we need to set aside time during the other days to rest and rejuvenate ourselves physically and spiritually.

The Sacrament

For Latter-day Saints, the sacrament is a weekly Sabbath day ordinance where we partake of the bread and water in remembrance of the Savior. Elder L. Tom Perry explained,

The purpose of partaking of the sacrament is … to renew the covenants we have made with the Lord. …

 

When we partake of the sacrament worthily, we remember the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, that He gave up His life and took upon Himself the sins of the world that we may have the blessing of immortality. We take upon ourselves the name of our Savior and promise to always remember Him and to keep His commandments—that is, to “live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God” (Doctrine & Covenants 84:44).

This ordinance helps us to set aside the things of the world and focus on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Elder Perry continued,

From the very beginning, before the world was organized, God laid out a plan whereby He would offer blessings to His children based on their obedience to His commandments. He understood, however, that we would be distracted at times by the things of the world and would need to be reminded regularly of our covenants and His promises. …

 

During the administration of the sacrament, we set aside the world. It is a period of spiritual renewal as we recognize the deep spiritual significance of the ordinance offered to each of us personally.

As we take the sacrament, we reflect on the Atonement of the Savior and the sins for which we must repent as well as renewing our commitment to do better. And we do this nearly every Sunday, so that we always remember Him.

Scripture Study

We also set aside the world as we study the scriptures. Studying is more than just reading—it’s feasting upon the words of Christ. President Russell M. Nelson said,

To feast means more than to taste. To feast means to savor. We savor the scriptures by studying them in a spirit of delightful discovery and faithful obedience. When we feast upon the words of Christ, they are embedded “in fleshy tables of the heart.” They become an integral part of our nature.

Elder Robert D. Hales taught,

… When we want to speak to God, we pray. And when we want Him to speak to us, we search the scriptures; for His words are spoken through His prophets. He will then teach us as we listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

 

If you have not heard His voice speaking to you lately, return with new eyes and new ears to the scriptures. They are our spiritual lifeline.

When we take time to feast upon the words of Christ, we will have the power of the Holy Ghost more abundantly in our lives, and our ability to properly prioritize our time and efforts will increase substantially.

Prayer, Pondering and the Holy Spirit

It is not enough to study the words of God through scripture study. We must also speak to our Heavenly Father in prayer. They go together like peas and carrots, as Forrest Gump would say. Elder Richard D. Scott said,

Choose to converse with your Father in Heaven often. Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences.

 

Because He respects your agency, Father in Heaven will never force you to pray to Him. But as you exercise that agency and include Him in every aspect of your daily life, your heart will begin to fill with peace, buoyant peace. That peace will focus an eternal light on your struggles. It will help you to manage those challenges from an eternal perspective.

Prayer is a vital communication tool between us and our Father in Heaven. Elder Boyd K. Packer taught,

The Lord has many ways of pouring knowledge into our minds to prompt us, to guide us, to teach us, to correct us, to warn us. The Lord said, “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart” (Doctrine & Covenants 8:2).

 

And Enos recorded, “While I was thus struggling in the spirit, behold, the voice of the Lord came into my mind again” (Enos 1:10).

 

You can know the things you need to know. Pray that you will learn to receive that inspiration and remain worthy to receive it. Keep that channel—your mind—clean and free from the clutter of the world.

Serving Others

Taking time to serve others is another way we can step back from our own world and focus on more important things. President Spencer W. Kimball taught,

I have learned that it is by serving that we learn how to serve. When we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves. In the midst of the miracle of serving, there is the promise of Jesus, that by losing ourselves, we find ourselves. (See Matthew 10:39.)

 

Not only do we “find” ourselves in terms of acknowledging guidance in our lives, but the more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls. We become more significant individuals as we serve others. We become more substantive as we serve others—indeed, it is easier to “find” ourselves because there is so much more of us to find! …

 

God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other….

At girls camp this year, the young women picked up trash along the lake and campsites as a service project. Also this summer, the youth of our community—as well as anyone over the age of 12—will be invited to participate in a community wood project. In this project, area churches combine efforts to split, stack and deliver firewood to families in need who will use it for heat in the winter. It is another reminder for us to step outside of our lives and help others.

Reconnecting with God

As we disconnect from the world, we reconnect with God. Experiences like going to girls camp remind me of how important it is to step back from the chaos of my life and take time to rejuvenate my spirit. I can feel the same peace and happiness that I have in the woods if I create it in my own life. Elder Richard G. Scott said,

Many voices from the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There is always more to do and more to accomplish. Yet deep inside each of us is a need to have a place of refuge where peace and serenity prevail, a place where we can reset, regroup, and reenergize to prepare for future pressures.

 

The ideal place for that peace is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece. …

 

Regardless of your circumstances, you can center your home and your life on the Lord Jesus Christ, for He is the source of true peace in this life.

 

Be certain that every decision you make, whether temporal or spiritual, is conditioned on what the Savior would have you do. When He is the center of your home, there is peace and serenity. There is a spirit of assurance that pervades the home, and it is felt by all who dwell there.

As we disconnect from the world—even for a time—to focus on the things of the spirit, we can create a refuge in our own homes and in our own lives where the Spirit of God can dwell. And after all, it’s this peace that is found in the woods at girls camp.

A significant practice, relationship or organization in a society or culture.

As an example, the dictionary cites “the institution of marriage.” Marriage is a significant practice because it creates a new family unit, which is the basis of any society. It’s not something to enter into lightly, nor is it solely a matter of convenience or viable only as long as one or both partners are happy. These lines of thinking did not enable marriage to become an institution. They do, in fact, contribute to the erosion of it. Marriage became an institution because it was (and still is) a revered and holy practice that binds two people together so tightly that they become a single unit.

And when marital vows are honored with love, commitment and integrity, they create a bedrock foundation for society. Elder L. Tom Perry said,

No single issue causes more concern among the leaders of churches and the leaders of nations than the alarming rate of breakup of marriages today. Statistics show that strong marriages produce strong families. The breakup of the family is causing serious social problems that are destroying our communities—including increases in poverty, crime, and delinquency.

So how do we put priority status on repairing the marriages in our society? We start by studying what makes marriage an institution.

The History of Marriage

It’s difficult to understand the importance of marriage if we don’t know its origins. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are unique in their belief that marriage was instituted by God Himself before the world was even created. It was part of God’s plan for His children on earth. And they also believe that Adam and Eve were not only the first two people on earth but were also the first married couple. Mormons believe that the marriage between Adam and Eve was not merely implied but that a ceremony actually took place. Elder Robert D. Hales taught,

From the earliest beginnings, God established the family and made it eternal. Adam and Eve were sealed in marriage for time and all eternity:

 

“And thus all things were confirmed unto Adam, by an holy ordinance, and the Gospel preached, and a decree sent forth, that it should be in the world, until the end thereof; and thus it was” (Moses 5:59).

This ceremony is called the sealing ordinance. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ believe that a temple marriage, or sealing, is different from a marriage outside the temple. Elder Theodore M. Burton explained,

… A civil marriage is an arrangement invented by man, which therefore includes man’s imperfections. A temple marriage, on the other hand, is performed under special priesthood authorization and with authority from God. It is therefore a holy ordinance that should be taken very seriously. It is an eternal marriage meant to last forever.

The Covenant of Marriage

The temple sealing is an ordinance, which is a sacred, formal act performed by the power and authority of the priesthood. When Adam and Eve were married, they covenanted with each other. James M. Harper, at the time associate professor of Family Sciences at Brigham Young University, explained,

The covenant between Adam and Eve is summarized in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Referring to this scripture, President Spencer W. Kimball commented, “Do you note that? She, the woman, occupies the first place. She is preeminent, even above the parents who are so dear to all of us. Even the children must take their proper but significant place (Ensign, March 1976, p. 72).”

The marriage covenant also embraces a partnership with God. Professor Harper continued,

Marriage is not just a social contract between man and woman; it involves God as well. God is a witness to all marriage agreements and insists that couples should be devoted and completely faithful to each other.

The temple covenant helps us to focus our efforts in marriage. Elder David A. Bednar taught,

The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. … [Imagine that] the Savior is positioned at the apex of [a] triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Not consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be “perfected in Him” (Moroni 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the woman come closer together (“Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006, 86).

Husbands and wives who honor their marriage covenants qualify themselves for eternal blessings.

Marriage and the Family

Marriage, then, is the foundation for the family. President James E. Faust said,

The family relationship of father, mother, and child is the oldest and most enduring institution in the world. It has survived vast differences of geography and culture. This is because marriage between man and woman is a natural state and is ordained of God. It is a moral imperative.

Thus, a moral imperative is something that is so important it compels a person to action. Latter-day Saints believe that we have a moral imperative to cultivate, nurture and sustain healthy marriage and family relationships because they are such an essential part of God’s plan for us. Elder Perry taught,

We … believe that strong traditional families are not only the basic units of a stable society, a stable economy, and a stable culture of values—but that they are also the basic units of eternity and of the kingdom and government of God.

The Nuclear Family

The nuclear family is a very powerful asset in society. Both the husband and wife play a vital role. President Faust said,

It is useless to debate which parent is most important. No one would doubt that a mother’s influence is paramount with newborns and in the first years of a child’s life. The father’s influence increases as the child grows older. However, each parent is necessary at various times in a child’s development. …  Mothers seem to take a dominant role in preparing children to live within their families (present and future). Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family.

Indeed, parenthood provides depth and a breadth to marriage. President Faust said,

The soul of the marriage is greatly enriched and the spiritual growing process is greatly strengthened when a couple become parents. For couples who can have children, parenthood should bring the greatest of all happiness. Men grow because as fathers they must take care of their families. Women blossom because as mothers they must forget themselves. We understand best the full meaning of love when we become parents. However, if children do not come, couples who are nevertheless prepared to receive them with love will be honored and blessed by the Lord for their faithfulness. Our homes should be among the most hallowed of all earthly sanctuaries.

These family relationships offer children the best chance of success. Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught,

A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God’s plan to thrive—the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come.

Marriage in our Society

We live in a society that mocks marriage at every turn— especially in the media. Sit-coms shows clueless moms and inept dads; reality TV shows treat marriage like a game. And shows that do seek to provide a Christian commitment to marriage and family values are ridiculed and attacked at every opportunity— especially if one (or more) of the family members shows human weakness and falls short of the beliefs he or she professes. With such little respect shown to families, it’s no wonder that many people fail to see their import. But all of us can see the effects of such attitudes. Elder L. Tom Perry said,

With the decay of the family, we see the terrible effects on our society—increased crime, behavior disorders, poverty, drug abuse, and the list continues to grow and grow. …

Surely we have learned by now, from the experience over centuries, that the basic family provides the most stable and secure foundation for society and is fundamental to the preparation of young people for their future responsibilities. We should have learned by now that alternate styles of family formations have not worked and never will work.

Indeed, Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained,

Deseret News opinion editor Hal Boyd cited one example of the disservice inherent in staying silent. He noted that while the idea of marriage is still a matter of “intellectual debate” among elites in American society, marriage itself is not a matter of debate for them in practice. “Elites get married and stay married and make sure their kids enjoy the benefits of stable marriage’ … The problem, however, is that [they] tend not to preach what they practice.” They don’t want to “impose” on those who really could use their moral leadership (The Voice of Warning, April 2017 General Conference).

The Problem with Divorce

Unfortunately today, divorce is a real issue and impacts many people. Divorce is painful, ugly and difficult on all parties involved, no matter what the reason for the split. Sometimes, however, it is necessary. Sometimes it isn’t— it just seems like the best way out. Unfortunately, many people discover too late that there was perhaps a better way. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said,

I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. A broad-based international study of the levels of happiness before and after “major life events” found that, on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after the death of a spouse than after a divorce. Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them, since the complexities that follow divorce—especially where there are children—generate new conflicts.

 

Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims. Scholars of family life tell us that the most important cause of the current decline in the well-being of children is the current weakening of marriage, because family instability decreases parental investment in children. We know that children raised in a single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization.

Building Happy Families

The question, then, is how do we build happy families? The first step is to create strong marriages, where husbands and wives love and respect one another—and teach their children to do the same. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states,

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

President Faust taught,

In the enriching of marriage, the big things are the little things. There must be constant appreciation for each other and thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. A couple must encourage and help each other grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine.

Elder Hales said,

… An eternal bond doesn’t just happen as a result of sealing covenants we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities. The family relationships we have here on this earth are important, but they are much more important for their effect on our families for generations in mortality and throughout all eternity.

Thus, the family relationships we create strengthen not only our current families but also the families of our children and their children.

Family Ties

The next step in building happy families is to strengthen the ties that bind parents to their children and siblings to each other. We do this by spending quality time with each other—away from the distractions of iPods, smart phones, tablets and social media. For Latter-day Saints, Monday nights are set aside for families to do just that. Of this, President Gordon B. Hinckley taught,

We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world’ (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).

Spending time as a family doesn’t need to be a big, elaborate affair. It can be as simple as family game night. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.

Families Built to Last

Marriage and family relationships must be built to last—not just for this life but for the eternities. Elder Perry said,

We believe that marriage and family ties can continue beyond the grave—that marriages performed by those who have the proper authority in His temples will continue to be valid in the world to come. Our marriage ceremonies eliminate the words “till death do us part” and instead say, “for time and for all eternity.”

How we treat our spouses and family members here will determine in large part whether we are bound to them in the hereafter. Elder Hales said,

While our individual salvation is based on our individual obedience, it is equally important that we understand that we are each an important and integral part of a family and the highest blessings can be received only within an eternal family. When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality. The plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. Being one in a family carries a great responsibility of caring, loving, lifting, and strengthening each member of the family so that all can righteously endure to the end in mortality and dwell together throughout eternity. It is not enough just to save ourselves. It is equally important that parents, brothers, and sisters are saved in our families. If we return home alone to our Heavenly Father, we will be asked, “Where is the rest of the family?” This is why we teach that families are forever. The eternal nature of an individual becomes the eternal nature of the family.

]]> https://mormonbeliefs.org/2017/08/07/search-happy-families/feed/ 0 https://mormonbeliefs.org/2017/05/03/star-wars-power-choice/ https://mormonbeliefs.org/2017/05/03/star-wars-power-choice/#respond Wed, 03 May 2017 06:10:44 +0000 https://en.elds.org/mormonbeliefs-org/?p=9992 The “Star Wars” films have created a legacy that has spanned generations. My dad took me to the original movies when I was a kid. My husband and I saw all of the movies in the second trilogy years ago when they came out. And now we are taking our kids to the new ones as they are released. And while the epic battles between the Rebel Alliance and the Empire (and then the First Order) are, well, epic, the classic conflict between the Light Side of the Force and the Dark Side provide life lessons on the power of choice.

Life is all about making choices. Some are big, some are small. Some will make a difference in our future and some won’t. Some will lead us to the Light Side of the Force and others to the Dark Side.  This is the test of life. Elder Robert D. Hales said,

Before we came to this earth, Heavenly Father presented His plan of salvation—a plan to come to earth and receive a body, choose to act between good and evil, and progress to become like Him and live with Him forever.

 

Our agency—our ability to choose and act for ourselves—was an essential element of this plan. Without agency we would be unable to make right choices and progress. Yet with agency we could make wrong choices, commit sin, and lose the opportunity to be with Heavenly Father again.

The test of choosing Light versus Dark is ours, too. And much we can learn from the Force, there is.

The Two Sides of the Force

“Star Wars” makes clear that two sides of the Force there are. And both sides are at war over our souls. Elder M. Russell Ballard said,

In the premortal world before we left the presence of Heavenly Father, He warned and cautioned us about new experiences we would have in mortality. We knew that we would have a physical body of flesh and bone. Never having been mortal before, we had no experience dealing with the temptations of mortality. But Heavenly Father knew and understood. He charged us to control our mortal bodies and to make them subject to our spirits. Our spirits would have to master the physical temptations that our bodies would encounter in a temporal world. Spiritual power over the influence of Satan comes to us by keeping the commandments of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

 

Being here on earth for the first time in our eternal existence, we are away from the protective presence of our Father in Heaven and are subject to the influence of Satan and his followers. …

 

Satan will seek to tempt us at times and in ways that exploit our greatest weaknesses or destroy our strengths. But his promises of pleasure are short-lived deceptions. His evil design is to tempt us into sinning, knowing that when we sin we separate ourselves from our Heavenly Father and the Savior, Jesus Christ. We begin to move away from Heavenly Father’s promised blessings toward the misery and anguish in which Satan and his followers languish. By sinning we put ourselves in Satan’s power.

Luke and Anakin are “Star Wars” characters who faced the same temptations. Their paths were determined not just by their decisions but also by those whom they chose to trust. Learning in whom to trust is one of the tests of our lives.

Trust Your Feelings

There are so many disparate voices in the public square, it can be difficult to know which is the right side—and who is on it. Anakin and Luke Skywalker both faced the same dilemma. The Sith are cunning and secretive, and always two there are. One Master and one Apprentice. And their identities are known only to themselves. So how can we tell the Light Side of the Force? President Thomas S. Monson explained,

Each of us came to earth having been given the Light of Christ. As we follow the example of the Savior and live as He lived and as He taught, that light will burn within us and will light the way for others.

What is the Light of Christ? President Boyd K. Packer said,

The Light of Christ is defined in the scriptures as “the Spirit [which] giveth light to every man that cometh into the world” (Doctrine & Covenants 84:46; emphasis added); “the light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:13; see also John 1:4–9; Doctrine & Covenants 84:45–47). …

 

Regardless of whether this inner light, this knowledge of right and wrong, is called the Light of Christ, moral sense, or conscience, it can direct us to moderate our actions—unless, that is, we subdue it or silence it.

Through the Light of Christ, we can trust our feelings about which voice to follow. But this is just the beginning. Just as Luke and the rest of the Jedi had to learn to use the Force, we too must learn to use the tools that God has us to help us make correct choices. So what are these tools?

Heavenly Father’s Plan for Us

Unlike the characters in the “Star Wars” universe, we have not been left to figure things out for ourselves. We have been given a roadmap and a guide. The roadmap is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and He is our guide. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches,

The gospel is our Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. The central doctrine of the gospel is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. … In its fulness, the gospel includes all the doctrines, principles, laws, ordinances, and covenants necessary for us to be exalted….

The Savior set the example for us to follow. Elder Hales said,

Throughout His life our Savior showed us how to use our agency. As a boy in Jerusalem, He deliberately chose to “be about [His] Father’s business.” In His ministry, He obediently chose “to do the will of [His] Father.” In Gethsemane, He chose to suffer all things, saying, “Not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.” On the cross, He chose to love His enemies, praying, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” And then, so that He could finally demonstrate that He was choosing for Himself, He was left alone. “[Father,] why hast thou forsaken me?” He asked. At last, He exercised His agency to act, enduring to the end, until He could say, “It is finished.”

 

Though He “was in all points tempted like as we are,” with every choice and every action He exercised the agency to be our Savior—to break the chains of sin and death for us. And by His perfect life, He taught us that when we choose to do the will of our Heavenly Father, our agency is preserved, our opportunities increase, and we progress.

Commandments and Covenants

We follow Jesus Christ by obeying the commandments that He has given us. They are given not to restrict us but are for our benefit. President Monson taught,

God’s commandments are not given to frustrate us or to become obstacles to our happiness. Just the opposite is true. He who created us and who loves us perfectly knows just how we need to live our lives in order to obtain the greatest happiness possible. He has provided us with guidelines which, if we follow them, will see us safely through this often treacherous mortal journey. …

 

Our Heavenly Father loves us enough to say: Thou shalt not lie; thou shalt not steal; thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself; and so on. … But while He gives us laws and commandments, He also allows us to choose whether to accept them or to reject them. Our decisions in this regard will determine our destiny.

When we obey His commandments, we qualify ourselves to make covenants with Him. President Russell M. Nelson said,

One of the most important concepts of revealed religion is that of a sacred covenant. In legal language, a covenant generally denotes an agreement between two or more parties. But in a religious context, a covenant is much more significant. It is a sacred promise with God. He fixes the terms. Each person may choose to accept those terms. If one accepts the terms of the covenant and obeys God’s law, he or she receives the blessings associated with the covenant. We know that “when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.”

Honoring our covenants brings blessings and strength into our lives that help us to continue on the path of righteousness.

Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost

Baptism is one of the first covenants that we make as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We make covenants as we partake of the ordinances of the gospel. The ordinance of baptism is followed by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. Elder David A. Bednar said,

Baptism by immersion is “the introductory ordinance of the gospel, and must be followed by baptism of the Spirit in order to be complete” (Bible Dictionary, “Baptism”). The Prophet Joseph Smith explained that “baptism is a holy ordinance preparatory to the reception of the Holy Ghost; it is the channel and key by which the Holy Ghost will be administered. The Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, cannot be received through the medium of any other principle than the principle of righteousness” (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 95–96).

The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead. He is a personage of spirit and thus can dwell within us if we are worthy to have Him as our companion. President Henry B. Eyring taught,

To always have the Spirit with us is to have the guidance and direction of the Holy Ghost in our daily lives. We can, for instance, be warned by the Spirit to resist the temptation to do evil.

 

The companionship of the Holy Ghost makes what is good more attractive and temptation less compelling. That alone should be enough to make us determined to qualify for the Spirit to be with us always.

 

Just as the Holy Ghost strengthens us against evil, He also gives us the power to discern truth from falsehood. The truth that matters most is verified only by revelation from God. Our human reason and the use of our physical senses will not be enough. We live in a time when even the wisest will be hard-pressed to distinguish truth from clever deception.

Thus, the gift of the Holy Ghost can be a powerful tool in helping us stay on the Light Side of the Force.

Take Time to Pray

How do we live worthy of this gift? We keep the commandments, commune with our Heavenly Father through prayer and study the scriptures. Each of these allows us to remain close to the Holy Ghost, who in turn can help us stay on the path of righteousness. Elder Richard G. Scott said,

The first tool is prayer. Choose to converse with your Father in Heaven often. Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences.

 

Because He respects your agency, Father in Heaven will never force you to pray to Him. But as you exercise that agency and include Him in every aspect of your daily life, your heart will begin to fill with peace, buoyant peace. That peace will focus an eternal light on your struggles. It will help you to manage those challenges from an eternal perspective.

Daily personal and family prayer brings the Holy Ghost into our lives and into our hearts. Through it we gain access to Divine power and strength beyond our own.

Study the Scriptures

Another tool to help us stay in tune with the Holy Ghost is scripture study. The scriptures are the word of God to His prophets, both ancient and modern. Elder Scott said,

We talk to God through prayer. He most often communicates back to us through His written word. To know what the voice of the Divine sounds and feels like, read His words, study the scriptures, and ponder them. Make them an integral part of everyday life. If you want your children to recognize, understand, and act on the promptings of the Spirit, you must study the scriptures with them.

 

Don’t yield to Satan’s lie that you don’t have time to study the scriptures. Choose to take time to study them. Feasting on the word of God each day is more important than sleep, school, work, television shows, video games, or social media. You may need to reorganize your priorities to provide time for the study of the word of God. If so, do it!

Throughout the ages prophets have promised blessings to those who study the scriptures. Elder Scott continued,

I add my voice with this promise: as you dedicate time every day, personally and with your family, to the study of God’s word, peace will prevail in your life. That peace won’t come from the outside world. It will come from within your home, from within your family, from within your own heart. It will be a gift of the Spirit. It will radiate out from you to influence others in the world around you. You will be doing something very significant to add to the cumulative peace in the world.

The Power of Choice

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. And the path to the Light Side—or the Dark Side—begins with a choice. There is power in choice. President Monson taught,

We are surrounded—even at times bombarded—by the messages of the adversary. Listen to some of them; they are no doubt familiar to you: “Just this once won’t matter.” “Don’t worry; no one will know.” “You can stop smoking or drinking or taking drugs any time you want.” “Everybody’s doing it, so it can’t be that bad.” The lies are endless.

 

Although in our journey we will encounter forks and turnings in the road, we simply cannot afford the luxury of a detour from which we may never return. Lucifer, that clever pied piper, plays his lilting melody and attracts the unsuspecting away from the safety of their chosen pathway, away from the counsel of loving parents, away from the security of God’s teachings.

But we can make a different choice. We can follow the path of righteousness. President Monson said,

… We all know where we want to go, and it does matter which way we go, for by choosing our path, we choose our destination.

Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed—the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny.

The Challenge to Become

For this discussion, we’ll start at the end. What is the goal? Mormons believe that our ultimate goal is to learn how to become like our Father in Heaven. Mormons believe that we are literal spirit children of our Heavenly Father and that we lived with Him before we were born. We came to earth to be tested to see if we would follow the commandments of God in all things so that we would be worthy to live with Him again. But when is this determined? Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained,

Many Bible and modern scriptures speak of a final judgment at which all persons will be rewarded according to their deeds or works or the desires of their hearts. But other scriptures enlarge upon this by referring to our being judged by the condition we have achieved.

What is the condition that we are trying to achieve? Elder Oaks continued,

The prophet Nephi describes the Final Judgment in terms of what we have become: “And if their works have been filthiness they must needs be filthy; and if they be filthy it must needs be that they cannot dwell in the kingdom of God” (1 Nephi 15:33; emphasis added). Moroni declares, “He that is filthy shall be filthy still; and he that is righteous shall be righteous still” (Mormon 9:14; emphasis added; see also Revelation 22:11–12; 2 Nephi 9:16; Doctrine & Covenants 88:35). The same would be true of “selfish” or “disobedient” or any other personal attribute inconsistent with the requirements of God. Referring to the “state” of the wicked in the Final Judgment, Alma explains that if we are condemned by our words, our works, and our thoughts, “we shall not be found spotless; … and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14).

 

From such teachings we conclude that the Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.

So now that we understand the goal, how do we get there? This is where testimony and conversion come in.

What a Testimony Is

The word testimony is most often associated with court proceedings, where witnesses give their testimony of events or other things pertinent to the case at hand. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines “testimony” as:

1a (1) :  the tablets inscribed with the Mosaic law (2) :  the ark containing the tablets b :  a divine decree attested in the Scriptures

2a :  firsthand authentication of a fact :  evidence b :  an outward sign c :  a solemn declaration usually made orally by a witness under oath in response to interrogation by a lawyer or authorized public official

3a :  an open acknowledgment b :  a public profession of religious experience

Interestingly, both the first and last definitions are religious. Latter-day Saints often speak of bearing their testimonies during the first Sunday of the month on what is called “Fast Sunday,” where they abstain from food and drink for a 24-hour period. On Fast Sunday during the worship service, rather than having designated speakers the time is set aside for members of the congregation to share their feelings about the Savior. But for Mormons, a testimony is much deeper than just a public profession of a religious experience.

Elder David A. Bednar taught,

… A testimony is personal knowledge of spiritual truth obtained by revelation. A testimony is a gift from God and is available to all of His children. Any honest seeker of truth can obtain a testimony by exercising the necessary “particle of faith” in Jesus Christ to “experiment upon” (Alma 32:27) and “try the virtue of the word” (Alma 31:5), to yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit” (Mosiah 3:19), and to awaken unto God (see Alma 5:7). Testimony brings increased personal accountability and is a source of purpose, assurance, and joy.

Testimony is spiritual knowledge obtained through the power of the Holy Ghost. But of what do Mormons have a testimony? Elder Bednar explained,

Fundamental components of a testimony are knowing that Heavenly Father lives and loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that the fulness of the gospel has been restored to the earth in these latter days.

A testimony is not the end of the religious road but, rather, it is just the beginning.

How We Obtain a Spiritual Knowledge

A testimony is spiritual knowledge that the things of the gospel are true. But they cannot be understood through the ways of the world. Elder Oaks explained,

What do we mean when we testify and say that we know the gospel is true? Contrast that kind of knowledge with “I know it is cold outside” or “I know I love my wife.” These are three different kinds of knowledge, each learned in a different way. Knowledge of outside temperature can be verified by scientific proof. Knowledge that we love our spouse is personal and subjective. While not capable of scientific proof, it is still important. The idea that all important knowledge is based on scientific evidence is simply untrue.

 

While there are some “evidences” for gospel truths (for example, see Psalm 19:1; Helaman 8:24), scientific methods will not yield spiritual knowledge. This is what Jesus taught in response to Simon Peter’s testimony that He was the Christ: “Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 16:17). The Apostle Paul explained this. In a letter to the Corinthian Saints, he said, “The things of God knoweth no man, but [by] the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11; see also John 14:17).

So, how do we obtain this spiritual knowledge? Elder Bednar said,

Seeking for and obtaining a testimony of spiritual truth requires asking, seeking, and knocking (see Matthew 7:7; 3 Nephi 14:7) with a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Savior (see Moroni 10:4).

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

First, you must search the word of God. That means reading the scriptures and studying the words of the ancient as well as modern prophets regarding the restored gospel of Jesus Christ—not with an intent to doubt or criticize but with a sincere desire to discover truth. …

 

Second, you must consider, ponder, fearlessly strive to believe, and be grateful for how merciful the Lord has been to His children from the time of Adam to our day by providing prophets, seers, and revelators to lead His Church and help us find the way back to Him.

 

Third, you must ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, to manifest the truth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unto you. Ask with a sincere heart and with real intent, having faith in Christ.

 

There is also a fourth step, given to us by the Savior: “If any man will do [God’s] will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” In other words, when you are trying to verify the truth of gospel principles, you must first live them. Put gospel doctrine and Church teachings to the test in your own life. Do it with real intent and enduring faith in God.

 

If you will do these things, you have a promise from God—who is bound by His word—that He will manifest the truth to you by the power of the Holy Ghost. …

Gaining a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ requires effort on our part. We must study, ponder, pray and be obedient to the Lord’s commands. A testimony can only be obtained by the power of the Holy Ghost.

What Conversion Is

Once we have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we must become converted. Elder Bednar said,

A testimony is spiritual knowledge of truth obtained by the power of the Holy Ghost. Continuing conversion is constant devotion to the revealed truth we have received—with a heart that is willing and for righteous reasons. Knowing that the gospel is true is the essence of a testimony. Consistently being true to the gospel is the essence of conversion. We should know the gospel is true and be true to the gospel.

Testimony is knowledge, and conversion is acting upon that knowledge. Elder Bednar said,

The essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ entails a fundamental and permanent change in our very nature made possible through the Savior’s Atonement. True conversion brings a change in one’s beliefs, heart, and life to accept and conform to the will of God (see Acts 3:19; 3 Nephi 9:20) and includes a conscious commitment to become a disciple of Christ.

 

Conversion is an enlarging, a deepening, and a broadening of the undergirding base of testimony. It is the result of revelation from God, accompanied by individual repentance, obedience, and diligence. Any honest seeker of truth can become converted by experiencing the mighty change of heart and being spiritually born of God (see Alma 5:12–14). As we honor the ordinances and covenants of salvation and exaltation (see Doctrine & Covenants 20:25), “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ” (2 Nephi 31:20), and endure in faith to the end (see Doctrine & Covenants 14:7), we become new creatures in Christ (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). Conversion is an offering of self, of love, and of loyalty we give to God in gratitude for the gift of testimony.

The Ordinances Necessary for Conversion

Becoming converted means that we join ourselves to the body of Christ, becoming “born again.” Elder Oaks explained,

The needed conversion by the gospel begins with the introductory experience the scriptures call being “born again” (e.g., Mosiah 27:25; Alma 5:49; John 3:7; 1 Peter 1:23). In the waters of baptism and by receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, we become the spiritual “sons and daughters” of Jesus Christ, “new creatures” who can “inherit the kingdom of God” (Mosiah 27:25–26).

 

In teaching the Nephites, the Savior referred to what they must become. He challenged them to repent and be baptized and be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, “that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day” (3 Nephi 27:20). He concluded: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27).

 

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan by which we can become what children of God are supposed to become. This spotless and perfected state will result from a steady succession of covenants, ordinances, and actions, an accumulation of right choices, and from continuing repentance. “This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God” (Alma 34:32).

Partaking of the ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ is part of our continued conversion. Elder Bednar explained,

For many of us, conversion is an ongoing process and not a onetime event that results from a powerful or dramatic experience. Line upon line and precept upon precept, gradually and almost imperceptibly, our motives, our thoughts, our words, and our deeds become aligned with the will of God. Conversion unto the Lord requires both persistence and patience.

The Role of Suffering in Conversion

The path to true conversion requires sacrifice on our part—and sometimes includes suffering. But affliction can lead to stronger conversion on our part. Elder Oaks said,

Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquility…. Father Lehi promised his son Jacob that God would “consecrate [his] afflictions for [his] gain” (2 Nephi 2:2). The Prophet Joseph was promised that “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:7–8).

 

Most of us experience some measure of what the scriptures call “the furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10). Some are submerged in service to a disadvantaged family member. Others suffer the death of a loved one or the loss or postponement of a righteous goal like marriage or childbearing. Still others struggle with personal impairments or with feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or depression. Through the justice and mercy of a loving Father in Heaven, the refinement and sanctification possible through such experiences can help us achieve what God desires us to become.

That doesn’t mean that suffering is easy. Sometimes dealing with the pain, sorrow, heartache and suffering of life on earth seems almost more than we can bear. But when we allow these experiences to help us grow closer to and become more like our Savior, then they are truly consecrated for our good.

When We Our Converted…

Gaining a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and becoming converted unto the Lord build a foundation for our service to others. The Savior told Simon-Peter,

… I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren (Luke 22:32).

Mormons believe that we have the same mandate. When we are converted, we seek to reach out to and help others. After the Savior’s resurrection, He returned again to His disciples. Elder L. Tom Perry taught,

… [One of the great lessons] of the Savior’s mission is taught to Peter as they dine together: “Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs” (John 21:15).

 

Then the question a second and third time. And finally, Peter, being grieved, replied to the Lord, “Thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep” (John 21:17).

 

Finally Peter understood: “when thou art converted”—a condition carries with it a responsibility to do something with that conversion, to feed the sheep of the Savior. The real value of our commitment through our conversion is when it is interpreted into action, when something results from that which has occurred from knowing the Lord.

Elder Oaks said,

We are challenged to move through a process of conversion toward that status and condition called eternal life. This is achieved not just by doing what is right, but by doing it for the right reason—for the pure love of Christ. The Apostle Paul illustrated this in his famous teaching about the importance of charity (see 1 Corinthians 13). The reason charity never fails and the reason charity is greater than even the most significant acts of goodness he cited is that charity, “the pure love of Christ” (Moroni 7:47), is not an act but a condition or state of being. Charity is attained through a succession of acts that result in a conversion. Charity is something one becomes. Thus, as Moroni declared, “except men shall have charity they cannot inherit” the place prepared for them in the mansions of the Father (Ether 12:34; emphasis added).

This charity is the resulting action of true conversion. It is the way that we become true followers and disciples of Jesus Christ. President Uchtdorf taught,

When we truly love our Heavenly Father and His children, we demonstrate that love through our actions. We forgive one another and seek to do good, for “our old [self] is crucified with [Christ].” We “visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,” and we keep ourselves “unspotted from the vices of the world.” …

As Elder Perry said,

All of the abundance, fullness, and plenty of this earth was given to us by God to be enjoyed in righteousness. We in turn are expected to love him; to be converted to him and his ways and to feed his sheep; to multiply, replenish, and strengthen our brethren.

Luckily, these injuries weren’t more serious. But each of them had something in common: you couldn’t see them with the naked eye. The effects were apparent, but the injuries weren’t. And it reminded me of the injury that we do to our spirits when we sin. The world portrays serious sin—such as adultery, premarital sex, etc.—as having no consequences. After all, you can’t see the spiritual injury. But it’s there. When my daughter broke her arm, there was little swelling. The only sign that something was wrong was that she wasn’t acting like herself. Instead of screaming in pain and crying, she was pale and quiet and didn’t want to move. It took a mother’s insight to see the change, and then I knew that I needed to take her to the emergency room. It is the same way with our spirits. It may not be apparent to others that we have sustained spiritual injuries due to sin, but the Father of our spirits—our Heavenly Father—can see them. And in His loving concern for us, He has provided a Spiritual Physician for us: the Savior, Jesus Christ. Through His Son, Jesus Christ, our Heavenly Father has given us not only the tools to avoid sin but also the healing balm that we can use to heal us, as well. When we understand this, we gain a greater appreciation for the Savior’s role as the Great Physician of our spirits—and how much He loves each one of us.

The Savior— the Great Spiritual Physician

When Jesus Christ was on the earth, He walked, talked, preached and ate among the least of the people as well as the greatest. The scriptures teach:

And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.

 

And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?

 

When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. (Mark 2:15-17)

About whom was the Savior speaking? He was speaking of all of us. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

Because we have all “sinned, and come short of the glory of God” and because “there cannot any unclean thing enter into the kingdom of God,” every one of us is unworthy to return to God’s presence.

 

Even if we were to serve God with our whole souls, it is not enough, for we would still be “unprofitable servants.” We cannot earn our way into heaven; the demands of justice stand as a barrier, which we are powerless to overcome on our own.

This is where the Savior and His love come into our lives—with the Atonement. President Uchtdorf continued,

But all is not lost. The grace of God is our great and everlasting hope.

 

Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the plan of mercy appeases the demands of justice “and [brings] about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.”

 

Our sins, though they may be as scarlet, can become white as snow. Because our beloved Savior “gave himself a ransom for all,” an entrance into His everlasting kingdom is provided unto us.

 

The gate is unlocked!

This, however, is just the beginning. God does not want us to be merely clean. He desires us to be exalted, as He is. President Uchtdorf said,

But the grace of God does not merely restore us to our previous innocent state. If salvation means only erasing our mistakes and sins, then salvation—as wonderful as it is—does not fulfill the Father’s aspirations for us. His aim is much higher: He wants His sons and daughters to become like Him.

 

With the gift of God’s grace, the path of discipleship does not lead backward; it leads upward.

Thus, just as our family doctor is here to help us to healthy—not just here to help us overcome our ailments—Jesus Christ’s role with our spiritual health is the same. He is our spiritual primary care physician who offers us well-child (or well-person) checkups as well as the emergency room doctor who offers us aid for our more serious spiritual injuries. He is “the way, the truth and the light.” He came to earth to set the perfect example that we could follow back to the presence of our Heavenly Father. And through His infinite Atonement, we can repent from our sins when we fall short of the grace of God.

A Spiritually Healthy Life

Because He is the great spiritual physician, Jesus Christ taught us by example how to lead a spiritually healthy life. President Henry B. Eyring taught,

We believe that through living the gospel of Jesus Christ we can become like the Savior, who is perfect. Considering the attributes of Jesus Christ should quash the pride of the self-satisfied person who thinks he or she has no need to improve. And even the most humble person can take hope in the invitation to become like the Savior.

 

… How that wonderful transformation will happen is captured for me in a song written for children.

The song to which President Eyring is referring is called “I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus,” and the words are:

I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.

I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.

At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,

But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,

“Love one another as Jesus loves you.

Try to show kindness in all that you do.

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,

For these are the things Jesus taught.”

Describing a time when he had seen children singing this song, President Eyring said,

It seemed to me that they were not just singing; they were declaring their determination. Jesus Christ was their example. To be like Him was their fixed goal. And their eager looks and their shining eyes convinced me that they had no doubts. They expected to succeed. They believed that the instruction of the Savior to be perfect was not a hope but a command. And they were sure He had prepared the way.

 

That determination and confidence can and must be in the heart of every Latter-day Saint. The Savior has prepared the way through His Atonement and His example.

One of the ways to lead a spiritually healthy life is by obeying the commandments of God. Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught,

Throughout His ministry Jesus gave commandments. And He taught, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15; see also verses 21, 23). He affirmed that keeping His commandments would require His followers to leave what He called “that which is highly esteemed among men” (Luke 16:15) and “the tradition of men” (Mark 7:8; see also verse 13). …

 

Following Christ is not a casual or occasional practice but a continuous commitment and way of life that applies at all times and in all places.

Striving to live a spiritually healthy life requires work. Not only adherence to the commandments but also studying the teachings of Jesus Christ and His commandments as well as praying. We can’t do better if we don’t know how—and we learn by studying His doctrines.

Repentance and Change

Living a spiritually healthy life does not mean that we will be perfect. We all fall short of the glory of God and have need of repentance. Some sins are greater than others, but they are all sins. President Russell M. Nelson said,

The doctrine of repentance is much broader than a dictionary’s definition. … When Jesus said “repent,” He asked us to change—to change our mind, knowledge, and spirit—even our breath. A prophet explained that such a change in one’s breath is to breathe with grateful acknowledgment of Him who grants each breath. …  Yes, the Lord has commanded us to repent, to change our ways, to come unto Him, and be more like Him. This requires a total change.

Repentance allows us to daily and repeatedly turn ourselves to God and strive to become more like Him. Elder Richard G. Scott said,

Repentance is not optional. An angel commanded Adam to “repent and call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore.” Each one of us is commanded to both repent and to call upon God continually throughout life. That pattern allows each day to be an unspoiled page in the book of life, a new, fresh opportunity. We are given the rejuvenating privilege of overcoming mistakes of commission or omission, be they small or profoundly serious. Full repentance results in forgiveness with spiritual renewal. One can feel the cleansing, the purity, the freshness that accompanies sincere repentance at any time in life. …

 

Why have our Father and His Son commanded us to repent? Because they love us. They know all of us will violate eternal laws. Whether they be small or large, justice requires that every broken law be satisfied to retain the promise of joy in this life and the privilege of returning to Father in Heaven.

Thus, repenting and turning our will more in line with the Savior’s is the only way to qualify ourselves to live with our Heavenly Father again.

Repentance—a Cure for Spiritual Ailments

Like my children whose physical ailments required medical attention and time to heal, some spiritual ailments require more spiritual attention and work to heal. Elder Scott taught,

Are you taking full advantage of the redeeming power of repentance in your life so that you can have greater peace and joy? Feelings of turmoil and despondency often signal a need for repentance. Also the lack of the spiritual direction you seek in your life could result from broken laws. If needed, full repentance will put your life together. It will solve all of the complex spiritual pains that come from transgression. But in this life it cannot remedy some of the physical consequences that can occur from serious sin. Be wise and consistently live well within the boundaries of righteousness defined by the Lord.

We live in a world where sin is so rampant that it has become the norm, in many cases. This is where things can get tricky for those who are striving to follow the Savior—and it can be difficult to know which side is right. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said,

… We live in a time not long before the advent of Jesus Christ—… the time of preparation for His Second Coming. And … the message of repentance is often not welcomed. Some profess that if there is a God, He makes no real demands upon us (see Alma 18:5). Others maintain that a loving God forgives all sin based on simple confession, or if there actually is a punishment for sin, “God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God” (2 Nephi 28:8). Others … deny the very existence of Christ and any such thing as sin. Their doctrine is that values, standards, and even truth are all relative. Thus, whatever one feels is right for him or her cannot be judged by others to be wrong or sinful.

 

On the surface such philosophies seem appealing because they give us license to indulge any appetite or desire without concern for consequences. By using the[se] teachings …, we can rationalize and justify anything. When prophets come crying repentance, it “throws cold water on the party.” But in reality the prophetic call should be received with joy. Without repentance, there is no real progress or improvement in life. Pretending there is no sin does not lessen its burden and pain. Suffering for sin does not by itself change anything for the better. Only repentance leads to the sunlit uplands of a better life. And, of course, only through repentance do we gain access to the atoning grace of Jesus Christ and salvation. Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace. Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.

Adhering to these philosophies of the world can lead to serious sins. How can we know if we have fallen prey to false teachings or just gave into temptations? President Boyd K. Packer taught,

Every one of us has at least tasted the pain of conscience which follows our mistakes. … All of us sometime, and some of us much of the time, suffer remorse of conscience from things we did wrong or things left undone. That feeling of guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the physical body.

 

But guilt can be harder to bear than physical pain. Physical pain is nature’s warning system that signals something needs to be changed or cleansed or treated, perhaps even removed by surgery. Guilt, the pain of our conscience, cannot be healed the same way.

 

If you are burdened with depressing feelings of guilt or disappointment, of failure or shame, there is a cure. …

Regardless of the sin or spiritual ailment, repentance is the cure. True repentance requires specific steps on our part. President Nelson said,

What does it mean to repent? We begin with a dictionary’s definition that to repent is “to turn from sin … to feel sorrow [and] regret.” To repent from sin is not easy. But the prize is worth the price. Repentance needs to be done one step at a time. Humble prayer will facilitate each essential step. As prerequisites to forgiveness, there must first be recognition, remorse, then confession. “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” Confession is to be made to the person who has been wronged. Confession should be sincere and not merely an admission of guilt after proof is evident. If many persons have been offended, confession should be made to all offended parties. Acts that may affect one’s standing in the Church or the right to its privileges should be confessed promptly to the bishop, whom the Lord has called as a common judge in Israel.

 

The next step is restitution—to repair damage done—if possible. Then come steps to resolve to do better and refrain from relapse—to repent “with full purpose of heart.” Thanks to the ransom paid by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, full forgiveness is given to the sinner who repents and remains free from sin.

The Healing Atonement of Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is the spiritual physician because we can find healing and peace in His infinite Atonement. Sometimes we think that our sins are so egregious that we are beyond all hope. President Uchtdorf said,

Sin is the willful transgression of divine law. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the gift of God to His children to correct and overcome the consequences of sin. God loves all of His children, and He will never cease to love and to hope for us. The plan of our Heavenly Father is clear, and His promises are great: “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world … might be saved” (John 3:17).

 

Christ came to save us. If we have taken a wrong course, the Atonement of Jesus Christ can give us the assurance that sin is not a point of no return. A safe return is possible if we will follow God’s plan for our salvation.

Once we have followed the steps of repentance and changed our ways, we can find the peace that we seek. Sometimes, however, we hold onto our guilt unnecessarily. President Packer taught,

For some reason, we think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end of mortal life to redemption from the Fall, from spiritual death. It is much more than that. It is an ever-present power to call upon in everyday life. When we are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or burdened with grief, He can heal us. While we do not fully understand how the Atonement of Christ was made, we can experience “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding.”

 

The gospel plan is the “great plan of happiness.” It is contrary to the nature of God and contrary to the very nature of man to find happiness in sin. “Wickedness never was happiness.”

But through repentance, we can let go of our guilt. President Packer explained,

We all make mistakes. Sometimes we harm ourselves and seriously injure others in ways that we alone cannot repair. We break things that we alone cannot fix. It is then in our nature to feel guilt and humiliation and suffering, which we alone cannot cure. That is when the healing power of the Atonement will help. …

 

If Christ had not made His Atonement, the penalties for mistakes would be added one on the other. Life would be hopeless. But He willingly sacrificed in order that we may be redeemed. And He said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” …

It is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that repentance is possible. We must do our part, but we can be healed from our spiritual ailments through the power of the Great Physician. Elder Packer said,

The Atonement has practical, personal, everyday value; apply it in your life. It can be activated with so simple a beginning as prayer. You will not thereafter be free from trouble and mistakes but can erase the guilt through repentance and be at peace.

Satan and Heavenly Father’s Plan for His Children

When we were there, Heavenly Father gather us together for a great family council. During this great meeting, Heavenly Father outlined His plan for His spirit children—which is often called the plan of salvation. Elder Dallin H. Oaks  explained:

Our understanding of life begins with a council in heaven. There the spirit children of God were taught his eternal plan for their destiny. We had progressed as far as we could without a physical body and an experience in mortality. To realize a fulness of joy, we had to prove our willingness to keep the commandments of God in a circumstance where we had no memory of what preceded our mortal birth.

 

In the course of mortality, we would become subject to death, and we would be soiled by sin. To reclaim us from death and sin, our Heavenly Father’s plan provided us a Savior, whose atonement would redeem all from death and pay the price necessary for all to be cleansed from sin on the conditions He prescribed (see 2 Nephi 9:19–24).

Our ability to choose isn’t just part of God’s plan for His children, it is the plan. Will we choose the path that leads back to our Heavenly Father, or will we not? We would be separated from God while we lived on earth, and there was a chance that not everyone would make it back into His presence. Both must have been sobering concepts for Heavenly Father’s spirit children to grasp. These are the concerns upon which Lucifer preyed when he spoke up. We frequently hear that Satan then presented a plan. But, Elder Richard G. Scott taught:

… Lucifer … proposed a modification of the requirements. So convincing was his argument that one-third of the Father’s spirit children followed Satan and were cast out.

Thus, Lucifer didn’t present a plan, he just wanted to modify Heavenly Father’s. What was this proposal? Lucifer promised “to redeem all mankind, that not one soul shall be lost,” and in return, he wanted the honor and glory for himself. (See Moses 4:1.) In doing so, he “sought to destroy the agency of man” (Moses 4:3).

Just how did Lucifer plan to do this? Brent L. Top, dean of religious education at Brigham Young University, said:

Just how he proposed to save every soul is not explained but it apparently allowed either no opportunity for sin or, if sin did occur, no condemnation for sin.

In short, according to Top, Satan’s plan was a “false offer of salvation without individual responsibility.” We often think of this in terms of brute force, but it was most likely a more subtle form of destruction of agency, as described above. By destroying agency, we don’t choose on our own to return to Heavenly Father but are forced—in other words, given no other options.

But this was contrary to God’s plan. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught,

The contention in heaven was—Jesus said there would be certain souls that would not be saved; and the devil said he could save them all, and laid his plans before the grand council, who gave their vote in favor of Jesus Christ. So the devil rose up in rebellion against God, and was cast down, with all who put up their heads for him (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 357).

The majority of the spirits in heaven—which includes all the people who have ever lived, those of us who are living now and those who will live on the earth— chose to follow Heavenly Father’s plan because we knew it was the only way that we could return to His presence and live with Him forever. Only by proving ourselves through our righteous choices—and through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ—could we qualify ourselves to return to live with God forever.

What is Agency and Why is it Important?

Agency is the ability to choose for ourselves—and it is a gift that God gave to man. This is the power that Satan sought to destroy for his own benefit. Elder Robert D. Hales explained:

… Agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and “to act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon.”  Agency is to act with accountability and responsibility for our actions. Our agency is essential to the plan of salvation. … Our agency—our ability to choose and act for ourselves—was an essential element of this plan. Without agency we would be unable to make right choices and progress. Yet with agency we could make wrong choices, commit sin, and lose the opportunity to be with Heavenly Father again. For this reason a Savior would be provided to suffer for our sins and redeem us if we would repent.

This sounds simple, and it is. The root of agency is choice—and it requires certain criteria. Elder Bruce R. McConkie said,

Four great principles must be in force if there is to be agency: 1. Laws must exist, laws ordained by an Omnipotent power, laws which can be obeyed or disobeyed; 2. Opposites must exist—good and evil, virtue and vice, right and wrong—that is, there must be an opposition, one force pulling … the other. 3. A knowledge of good and evil must be had by those who are to enjoy the agency, that is, they must know the difference between the opposites; and 4. An unfettered power of choice must prevail. (Mormon Doctrine, Bookcraft, Inc., 1966 ed., p. 26.)

In the absence of just one of these criteria, there is not true freedom of choice. And without true freedom of choice, there can be no progression on our journey to become like our Heavenly Father. And that is the goal. The scriptures teach that God said,

For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)

Satan’s Plan—Eliminating Choices or Removing Consequences?

One way that Satan could destroy the agency of mankind was by eliminating choices—or opposites. If there are no opposites, there are no choices. 2 Nephi 2: 15-16 illustrates this:

And to bring about his eternal purposes in the end of man, after [God] had created our first parents, and the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and in fine, all things which are created, it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter.

 

Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.

Interestingly, even as Lucifer was trying to alter Heavenly Father’s plan, he was taking part in it by offering a choice—an opposition to the things of God. His attempt illustrates an eternal concept: our power of choice is so fundamental, we would have had to choose to allow Satan to destroy our agency. And, sadly, a third of the hosts of heaven used their agency to lose it by choosing to follow Lucifer out of heaven.

The other plausible theory for Satan’s strategy is to remove the consequences of our choices—meaning that any choice will be fine. Mormon scholar Terryl Givens explains:

The Luciferian proposal may very well have hinged on the promise that regardless of human choices in a mortal probation, salvation would be assured. Humans wouldn’t be forced to make the right choices. Any choices they made would suffice. Which is the same thing as saying, no choice that they made would have mattered. And if choice doesn’t matter, then moral agency is an empty cliché. That would offer a plausible scenario by which he sought to destroy the agency of man, in a strategy as tempting then as it is now. Eat, drink, and be merry, and tomorrow you repose in paradise.

The scriptures also support this point:

And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away (2 Nephi 2:13).

Interestingly, what this scripture teaches is that not only was Lucifer’s proposal implausible, it would have defeated the very purposes for the existence of both man and God.

Why Did So Many Follow Satan?

Lucifer, by Franz von Stuck

Regardless of the stratagem Lucifer used to lure away a third of the hosts of heaven, their actions show a lack of faith. President Spencer W. Kimball taught,

Agency suggests something very important—trust. Trust on the part of all. Now, just as God trusted us with all he had created here on earth, we must trust his knowledge and love each other. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever, as are his purposes.

Those who chose to rebel against God’s plan lacked trust—possibly in themselves and their ability to make correct choices, and certainly in God’s plan for us. Of this conflict in heaven, Elder Hales said:

Each of Heavenly Father’s children had the opportunity to exercise the agency Heavenly Father had given him or her. We chose to have faith in the Savior Jesus Christ—to come unto Him, follow Him, and accept the plan Heavenly Father presented for our sakes. But a third of Heavenly Father’s children did not have faith to follow the Savior and chose to follow Lucifer, or Satan, instead.

But the devil’s efforts did not end there. Elder L. Tom Perry said,

Satan, however, was not done. His backup plan—the plan he has been executing since the time of Adam and Eve—was to tempt men and women, essentially to prove we are undeserving of the God-given gift of agency. Satan has many reasons for doing what he does. Perhaps the most powerful is the motive of revenge, but he also wants to make men and women miserable like he is miserable.

Could Satan Really Force Us to Choose the Right?

Lucifer is the great dragon (Revelations 12) and the great deceiver. But can he really deceive and lead us away by forcing us against our will? No.  President James E. Faust said,

Who has not heard and felt the enticings of the devil? His voice often sounds so reasonable and his message so easy to justify. It is an enticing, intriguing voice with dulcet tones. It is neither hard nor discordant. No one would listen to Satan’s voice if it sounded harsh or mean. If the devil’s voice were unpleasant, it would not entice people to listen to it.

 

Shakespeare wrote, “The prince of darkness is a gentleman” (King Lear, act 3, sc. 4, line 143), and “the devil can cite Scripture for his purpose” (The Merchant of Venice, act 1, sc. 3, line 95). As the great deceiver, Lucifer has marvelous powers of deception. …

In addition to his great powers of persuasion, Lucifer was in a position of power and influence. The scriptures teach:

… An angel of God who was in authority in the presence of God, who rebelled against the Only Begotten Son whom the Father loved and who was in the bosom of the Father, was thrust down from the presence of God and the Son. And was called Perdition, for the heavens wept over him—he was Lucifer, a son of the morning (Doctrine & Covenants 76:25-26).

Lucifer was in a position of trust and authority—and thus we can see how this could have led some to be deceived by his proposal. Elder Oaks said of Satan’s proposal, “Without the power of choice, we would have been mere robots or puppets in his hands.”

And that is how Satan would have forced us—by eliminating the power of choice. We would have been compelled to follow him because there would be no alternatives. But, as President Faust said:

We have heard comedians and others justify or explain their misdeeds by saying, “The devil made me do it.” I do not really think the devil can make us do anything. Certainly he can tempt and he can deceive, but he has no authority over us which we do not give him.

The Devil’s Modus Operandi Today

We can also gain deeper insight into what Satan’s strategy might have been in the premortal world by looking at how he works on earth today. And although it’s interesting to think about how Satan proposed to take away our agency, it is important to understand how he actively pursues this agenda today. President Faust taught:

Some of Satan’s most appealing lines are “Everyone does it”; “If it doesn’t hurt anybody else, it’s all right”; “If you feel all right about it, it’s OK”; or “It’s the ‘in’ thing to do.” These subtle entreaties make Satan the great imitator, the master deceiver, the arch counterfeiter, and the great forger. …

 

The First Presidency described Satan: “He is working under such perfect disguise that many do not recognize either him or his methods. There is no crime he would not commit, no debauchery he would not set up, no plague he would not send, no heart he would not break, no life he would not take, no soul he would not destroy. He comes as a thief in the night; he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing” (Messages of the First Presidency, comp. James R. Clark, 6 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 6:179).

Satan is the world’s master in the use of flattery, and he knows the great power of speech (see Jacob 7:4). He has always been one of the great forces of the world.

Elder M. Russell Ballard, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said:

Lucifer is a clever and cunning intelligence. One of the main methods he uses against us is his ability to lie and deceive to convince us that evil is good and good is evil.

One of the ways he tries to ensnare us is with addictions. Elder Ballard explained:

He uses addiction to steal away agency. According to the dictionary, addiction of any kind means to surrender to something, thus relinquishing agency and becoming dependent on some life-destroying substance or behavior.

Researchers tell us there is a mechanism in our brain called the pleasure center. When activated by certain drugs or behaviors, it overpowers the part of our brain that governs our willpower, judgment, logic, and morality. This leads the addict to abandon what he or she knows is right. And when that happens, the hook is set and Lucifer takes control.

But we need not fear. President Faust taught:

I believe Satan’s ever-expanding efforts are some proof of the truthfulness of this work. In the future the opposition will be both more subtle and more open. It will be masked in greater sophistication and cunning, but it will also be more blatant. We will need greater spirituality to perceive all of the forms of evil and greater strength to resist it. But the disappointments and setbacks to the work of God will be temporary, for the work will go forward.

… We need not become paralyzed with fear of Satan’s power. He can have no power over us unless we permit it. He is really a coward, and if we stand firm, he will retreat.

A spirit of forgiveness and an attitude of love and compassion toward those who may have wronged us is of the very essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Each of us has need of this spirit. The whole world has need of it. The Lord taught it. He exemplified it as none other has exemplified it.

We all want—and desperately need—forgiveness in our own lives. But do we extend it as freely as we should to others? I like to think of myself as pretty forgiving, but a situation arose recently that has me pondering how far-reaching forgiveness for others really is (and needs to be). In this instance, I felt that the actions of another person were putting me in the middle of an uncomfortable, no-win situation. And I have been upset at the heartache caused by these choices. I have struggled to overcome these feelings of frustrations and find peace as I navigate this delicate issue. But as I spoke with my husband about it, I realized that forgiveness is the answer and that the attributes of the Savior—unconditional love, compassion, mercy and not judging—help us in our quest to truly forgive.

Forgiveness and the Savior

The Lord has made it very clear that we must forgive others. It is a commandment. The scriptures teach:

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. (Doctrine & Covenants 64:10)

And also:

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:26)

And in Luke, the Savior explains the reason that we are commanded to forgive others:

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

The doctrine is clear. We all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him. Christ’s Atonement is infinite and eternal. Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others.

I realized as I was talking with my husband that not only was I not forgiving others, I was also judging them. Of the Savior’s teachings, President Uchtdorf said:

Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable—when applied to someone else. We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

 

But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.

In this case, I was guilty of doing just that. I was judging this other person based on my limited knowledge of the situation. Just as forgiving is a commandment, the refusal to do so is a sin. President Uchtdorf said,

The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, said that those who pass judgment on others are “inexcusable.” The moment we judge someone else, he explained, we condemn ourselves, for none is without sin. Refusing to forgive is a grievous sin—one the Savior warned against.

The Savior did not only give us the commandment to forgive, He also set the ultimate example for us. Elder Marion D. Hanks taught:

Christ’s love was so pure that he gave his life for us: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13.) But there was another gift he bestowed while he was on the cross, a gift that further measured the magnitude of his great love: he forgave, and asked his Father to forgive, those who persecuted and crucified him.

 

Was this act of forgiveness less difficult than sacrificing his mortal life? Was it less a test of his love? I do not know the answer. But I have felt that the ultimate form of love for God and men is forgiveness.

Forgiveness is Found through Love

Not only is forgiveness the ultimate form of love for God and men, it is found through it. President Uchtdorf said,

Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy. In fact, for most of us it requires a major change in our attitude and way of thinking—even a change of heart. But there is good news. This “mighty change” of heart is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is designed to bring into our lives.

 

How is it done? Through the love of God.

 

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. … The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

As the love of Christ fills our hearts, we begin to see others differently. President Uchtdorf said:

The pure love of Christ can remove the scales of resentment and wrath from our eyes, allowing us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other.

Seeing others as the Savior does means seeing the burdens that others carry, and then trying to ease them. One man said that the people with whom he works have lived through some horrific experiences, and rather than judge them for their choices we should be in awe of the strength it took them to survive. This is true of so many people. We don’t always know their struggles or hardships. But we don’t need to add to them, either. As President Uchtdorf said,

… There is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment.

 

We are not perfect.

 

The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

 

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

 

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is possible. President Uchtdorf taught:

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

Forgiveness Means Letting Go

Harboring a grudge against an enemy is easy to do, but it takes its toll. President Hinckley said:

How difficult it is for any of us to forgive those who have injured us. We are all prone to brood on the evil done us. That brooding becomes as a gnawing and destructive canker. Is there a virtue more in need of application in our time than the virtue of forgiving and forgetting? There are those who would look upon this as a sign of weakness. Is it? I submit that it takes neither strength nor intelligence to brood in anger over wrongs suffered, to go through life with a spirit of vindictiveness, to dissipate one’s abilities in planning retribution. There is no peace in the nursing of a grudge. There is no happiness in living for the day when you can “get even.”

 

Paul speaks of “the weak and beggarly elements” of our lives. (See Galatians 4:9.) Is there anything more weak or beggarly than the disposition to wear out one’s life in an unending round of bitter thoughts and scheming gestures toward those who may have affronted us?

Forgiving others is very freeing because it means letting go of grudges and hurt that weigh us down. I had an experience many years ago where I felt that I received an answer to a prayer, but then the result was contrary to what I thought was going to happen. I was really upset about the whole thing, and I poured out my heart to God, asking why this had happened. As I was driving down the freeway, my answer came very definitively in the form of a billboard, which read: LET IT GO. This is the same counsel that prophets, apostles and even the Savior have for us when it comes to forgiving others. But, as with most things, it’s easy to say and harder to do. Elder David E. Sorensen said:

This is not to say that forgiveness is easy. When someone has hurt us or those we care about, that pain can almost be overwhelming. It can feel as if the pain or the injustice is the most important thing in the world and that we have no choice but to seek vengeance. But Christ, the Prince of Peace, teaches us a better way. It can be very difficult to forgive someone the harm they’ve done us, but when we do, we open ourselves up to a better future. No longer does someone else’s wrongdoing control our course. When we forgive others, it frees us to choose how we will live our own lives. Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts.

Forgiving others allows us to remove the albatross from around our necks and swim to the safety of the Savior’s love. If we don’t, we will allow ourselves to drown in the sea of bitterness, weighed down by the grudges we carry. When we forgive, we free up our own energy so that it can be used in more meaningful pursuits.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness opens the door to healing and peace. One of the most amazing examples of this, besides the Savior, is the story of how one Amish community found forgiveness in the face of tragedy. An armed man who was not Amish but was familiar with the community stormed into an Amish schoolhouse, letting the boys go and keeping the girls inside. He tied them up and opened fire, killing five and wounding five. Then he turned the gun on himself. President James E. Faust continued:

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.” Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

 

One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.”

Although this incident occurred nearly a decade ago, I am still inspired by the power of this story. The compassion, love and forgiveness that the Amish community extended to the family of this gunman helped everyone to begin healing from this tragedy. And it left me feeling that if they could forgive the unforgivable, then I needed those in my life whose wrongs were petty in comparison. This is the healing power of forgiveness. President Faust said:

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being.  Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.”

Forgiveness Doesn’t Make a Wrong OK

Forgiving others doesn’t make a wrong OK and is not a justification of sin. We are commanded to forgive, but sometimes there are still penalties for the wrongdoer. Elder Sorensen said:

I would like to make it clear that forgiveness of sins should not be confused with tolerating evil. In fact, in the Joseph Smith Translation, the Lord said, “Judge righteous judgment.” The Savior asks us to forsake and combat evil in all its forms, and although we must forgive a neighbor who injures us, we should still work constructively to prevent that injury from being repeated. A woman who is abused should not seek revenge, but neither should she feel that she cannot take steps to prevent further abuse. A businessperson treated unfairly in a transaction should not hate the person who was dishonest but could take appropriate steps to remedy the wrong. Forgiveness does not require us to accept or tolerate evil. It does not require us to ignore the wrong that we see in the world around us or in our own lives. But as we fight against sin, we must not allow hatred or anger to control our thoughts or actions.

This is the trap that can be so difficult to navigate. Hatred and anger are the easiest emotions because then we don’t have to deal with the real pain and hurt lurking behind. But hatred and anger are the most destructive because they block our ability to heal. President Faust said:

Of course … mercy cannot rob justice. Bishop [Christopher] Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.” When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,” even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.

Sometimes complete forgiveness requires us to welcome back one who has wronged us. But sometimes it doesn’t. Some people, companies, etc. are toxic in our lives and must continue to be avoided for our own spiritual, financial/or and physical safety. A friend of mine shared with me this powerful story:

I had made a trip to Cyprus (the Greek island in the Mediterranean) ten years after finishing a job tour there. A sister in our branch approached me and thanked me for making it possible for her to go to the temple to take out her endowments and make higher covenants with the Lord. I wondered what I had done. I didn’t remember doing such a great service.

 

It turned out that during our years on the island she had asked me about forgiveness. There was someone who had injured her and she was trying to forgive him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to let him back into her life. I told her that forgiving someone does not necessary mean you need to bring that person back into full fellowship. Some people are dangerous and always will be, and you should, after letting go of your anger and grudges, stay as far away from that person as possible.

 

This was a great relief for her. She had misunderstood this fact about forgiveness. She now realized she had already done her part and was free to move ahead spiritually.

As we turn to the Lord for guidance, He can help us determine which actions we should—or should not— take as we seek to move on and forgive others.

Forgiveness and Families

Perhaps nowhere is forgiveness more important than in our family relationships. Growing up, my mom would always tell us, “Your friends will come and go, but your siblings will be your friends forever.” I now tell this to my kids, with the added phrase, “You won’t be friends later if you don’t learn how to be friends now.” Forgiveness in families is so important because these are the relationships that mean the most to us and thus have the ability to cause the most hurt. It is for this reason that we must take care in our family relationships. Elder Sorensen said:

In much of today’s popular culture, the virtues of forgiveness and kindness are belittled, while ridicule, anger, and harsh criticism are encouraged. If we are not careful, we can fall prey to these habits within our own homes and families and soon find ourselves criticizing our spouse, our children, our extended family members. Let us not hurt the ones we love the most by selfish criticism! In our families, small arguments and petty criticisms, if allowed to go unchecked, can poison relationships and escalate into estrangements, even abuse and divorce. Instead, just like we learned with the poisonous venom, we must “make full haste” to reduce arguments, eliminate ridicule, do away with criticism, and remove resentment and anger. We cannot afford to let such dangerous passions ruminate—not even one day.

I have realized that rather than passing judgment and holding grudges against someone else, I need to take stock of what I’m teaching my children at home and how I treat my husband and children. President Thomas S. Monson said:

… Some of our greatest opportunities to demonstrate our love will be within the walls of our own homes. Love should be the very heart of family life, and yet sometimes it is not. There can be too much impatience, too much arguing, too many fights, too many tears. Lamented President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Why is it that the [ones] we love [most] become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that [we] sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick?” The answers to these questions may be different for each of us, and yet the bottom line is that the reasons do not matter. If we would keep the commandment to love one another, we must treat each other with kindness and respect. …

 

Forgiveness should go hand in hand with love. In our families, as well as with our friends, there can be hurt feelings and disagreements. Again, it doesn’t really matter how small the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to canker, to fester, and ultimately to destroy. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals.

Forgiveness allows us to find healing, happiness and peace in all the situations in our lives—and with all the people in our lives. It is through the love of God that we will find it.